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Writer's picturekevinkenealy

Funny ideas on how to go back to school

There's a lot of stress on going back to school this year for everyone. So, I thought I might shed some humor on the situation to calm everyone's nerves. Below are some unrealistic ideas that I have that might lighten the mood a little. Enjoy.


1) Teachers wear Hazmat suits, similar to what you see in E.T. Nothing screams impersonal than seeing your teacher walk in like they are stepping onto Mars in one of these babies.

2) Hologram technology is used so students can be in the classroom without being in the classroom. They did it in Ready Player One, and it worked out pretty well for that fictional world.

3) Teachers can throw dodgeballs at students who can't don't wear their masks. If you can dodge a mask, you can dodge a ball.

4) British double decker buses will be used in place of traditional school buses to accommodate social distancing.

5) Teacher rooms will be wrapped in bubble wrap. That is all.

6) Students will lather themselves in hand sanitizer much like a worried mother lathers her toddler with suntan lotion.

7) Students will watch "What about Bob?" and other such videos describing how to be overly clean and OCD.

8) A politician will take the place of a teacher once a month to see if their policy makes sense.

9) The CDC will surround schools with machine guns making sure policy is enforced so that it does not fall all on the schools.

10) Cardboard cutouts of Lori Lightfoot will be placed at every entrance of school in Chicago and its suburbs.




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